Tenuous Hold
by Mad-4-Manga
Summary: Shonenai, unhealthy relationships, depression, angst, selfmutilation. AU.Sasuke flipped, Naruto's going off the deep end, Sakura's close to the edge of something.Other characters come in later?
1. Ch 1 Forst

M-4-M: Ohayou minna-san! Good to see you all! I had a bad case of writer's block... and I still have it with all my other fan fics. T.T But while cleaning my room, I found this! And the inspiration/story bunny hit me with a door!

Warnings: Shounen-ai, unhealthy relationships,self-mutilation, angst, depression. This is not going to be a happy, fluffy fan fic. Beware.

Rating: M for safety, the above warnings, and possible things that will come later.

_Disclaimer:_ What? Are they selling the rights to Naruto for 10 cents? I'm a cheapo and K- what's-his-name created this.

**A Tenuous Hold:**

**Fort**

We all knew it would happen someday, but didn't expect it so soon.

The poor fellow was just under too much stress I guess and he obviously never had much mental stability to begin with.

It was just a matter of where, when, and how.

I still can't believe that Sasuke literally bit a fangirl...

on the neck...

several times over.

.o.o.o.

When I went to see if he was alright in that empty mansion of his, I noticed the changes.

While Sasuke had always been on the pale side, he was even whiter now, with disturbing black circles around his eyes. What once were eyes of abyss, had curious, mysterious, blood-red swirls throughout his irises. (1)

His regular brown shorts and a black shirt with an old familiar fan crest on it were rumpled. Before, Sasuke was immaculate whenever possible.

The thing that stood out most, however, was his aura --the feelings he exuded. He used to have a calculated indifference. Now what I sensed was an overpowering sense of passion, danger almost.

The Uchiha stood in front of me, his eyes guarded by hair now, faint candle light playing an interesting crack-pot painter.

"What happened?"

I meant to say 'Are you alright?'

He looked back up at me again, irises swirling colors, "Leave."

Tears leaked from my eyes and I left, shutting the door quietly, annoyed, rejected, lost.

**.o.o.o.**

Naruto looked down at his hands in desperation.

He remembered when it used to be all a game.

Right after his Mom had... died and he had been under the supervision of the first guardian. The guardian, Mr. Maike --a relative of his mother's-- despised Naruto. Naruto wasn't sure why, but Mr. Maike blamed his mother's... death... on him. (2) To escape reality, when the blood fell, he would pretend that he was a hungry vampire and that Naruto wouldn't drink the blood of anybody, so had resorted to cutting himself... the sight of his own blood enough to satiate his need. (3)

And when he went on to the next guardian --after the third hokage saw the bruises and scabs--... she wasn't much better than Maike. It was like slave labor... and then one day when he was preparing supper for her... he found a sharp knife in his hand... and then reality wasn't condemning him to insanity anymore. (4)

It was all just a game originally to block out the painful present.

Naruto looked back down at his red-stained fingers. Yes, just a game to keep oneself sane... but Naruto wasn't sure if he could be considered sane now.

He continued cutting away lightly. Making slashes and slight stabs to look like he had just crawled through prickly brush.

When he was done, Naruto dazedly cleaned off the knife, and sanitized his cuts, enjoying the sharp pains that were so familiar.

This is what was real. He would become Hokage.

**End Chapter One of Tenuous Hold: Fort**

M-4-M: Okay, so originally, this was supposed to be a crack fic... but it just never did that... however, you can see the remains of it at the top. n.nU It IS an AU, so I will mess around with the Naruto universe a bit. Tweaking things here or there, adding plot-sticks, and generally not knowing when this takes place. -.-U

So no asky. They're both about 16 or something here.

.o.

(1)- Shame on you if you call yourself a Naruto otaku and don't know what those red swirls are! It's the sharingan!

(2)- More on his mother's death later... but know that the pauses between saying 'death' imply something. You're welcome to guess!

(3)- Yeah, I'm aware that Naruto seems OOC. But if -you- had a twisted childhood, I'm sure you would have some odd concepts too, to get away from confronting the fact that your guardian --the one who is supposed to be loving and protecting you-- is abusive and cuts you and hits you!

(4)- Emo Naruto (this seems rather obvious, but I'm saying it anyways)

.o.

_Review and tell me you guys want more! I'll give you cookies and ice cream! n.n_

_Review..._

_...Seriously... Review..._

_...Review... or you get no cookies._

_Review if you want this to continue..._

_Review if this is good._

_...Review if you can't live without knowing what's going to happen next!_


	2. Ch 2 Seij

M-4-M: This chapter is starting to get the feel that I want it to have... the first chapter was to start off, this second chapter is to establish feelings and some atmosphere. The third chapter is where we start getting down to business.

Many thanks to those who reviewed my first chapter. You three get your ice cream and cookies! --doles out goodies to dutiful reviewers--.

Warnings: Self-mutilation, angst, depression, shonen-ai, and anything else my sick and twisted imagination conjurs.

Disclaimer: If it was mine, there would be more angst and fluf than one could stomach.

**Tenuous Hold:**

**Siege**

Naruto knew he should go see Sasuke. Sakura herself had come to ask him to go see the defiant black-haired boy.

But he wouldn't. He wasn't ready to deal with other's problems quite yet... and the Uchiha just might get the Uzumaki to talk.

.o.

Sasuke had always been on the brink of collapsing, letting loose, breaking, being destroyed, but he had still been there. And of course, Naruto had originally thought Sasuke an enemy. One of the people who hated him, who thought he was an idiot that would do nothing in life. Later, Naruto had learned to be friends with the stoic-incarnate boy.

.o.

Sakura, Naruto knew, could be the kindest, most open-hearted person. It's why he loved her, both in the romantic sense, and later, in a sisterly sense.

Why need to remember painful memories? Why remember the times when all he needed to live for was his team, ramen, and the possibility of catching some sleep at his teacher's house?.

Why remember the times when Sasuke questioned him about the consistent bruises, why remember things that never were and never would be again?

.o.

Naruto was drifting in and out of conciousness, dizzy spells overtaking his vision, leaving him incapabe to move from his spot on the floor. Perhaps he had gone too far this time? There seemed to be too much blood on the floor, this time. In fact, there had only been blood on the floor once. He was always careful about letting blood getting everywhere... people would become suspicious.

.o.

Naruto heard shocked gasps and blearily opened eyes that didn't want to, a hideous headache greeting him from the result of his blood-loss.

It was Sakura.

The void of unconciousness overwhelmed him... leaving him with blanks.

.o.

.o.

.o.

Naruto sat up weakly. He was in his bedroom, and with a rush, he remembered. Ko coming in to extract the fees... and leaving... then his legal guardian coming to teach the daily 'lesson' --the one Naruto learned everyday--, nearly passing out... and Sakura coming in... to lose to the darkness.

Sakura was sitting in the chair by the desk, looking out the window. After a minute, looking up at Naruto with a teary smile, "Glad you're alright. You should be more careful with kitchen knives..."

_Why? Why choose this route?_

She started sobbing into her hands pitifully, make-up sure to run, revealing nasty secrets. Naruto stumbled out of his bed and haphazardly hugged his pink-haired friend, "You should be more careful on missions with bright pink hair like yours." He gestred half-heartedly to some scratches on her face.

_Why? Why choose that person?_

They sat and cried in front of Naruto's empty desk, in the barren room with its leaking ceiling.

It was raining outside and they were all alone, hugging each other in a sodden chair.

.o.o.S.o.o.

Naruto stared at Sasuke as he entered his house. What was Sasuke doing here?

Naruto realised he was still bleeding under his bandages. Sasuke approached the usually hyperactive boy, and glanced down at the white muslin strips stained red with all that was left to him. Suddenly far too close for comfort, Naruto backed up, to only have Sasuke grab his hands. He ripped off the fabric and started sucking on the cuts, renewing the slow bleeding with vigour. Sasuke _needed_ this and Naruto had just found his latest and greatest fix.

_Horrific, vampiric fantasies. Not what we really wanted in the first place, but a loser's compensation for inadequacy. _

Passionate kisses from hands ran up his sides. Fondling the hair, scratching spots that awakened desire.

All to forget for one moment.

To forget all that happened and was happening and would happen.

Tears came far too easy for Naruto these days, usually in his isolation. Water leaked out the corner of his eyes as Sasuke pressed up against him, up to the wall, licking at his wrists, "Crying... crying does not help ease the heartache..." Sasuke's voice sounded hoarse.

Half-sobbing, Naruto continued, " it only makes you feel it worse."

.o.

Done feasting upon Naruto's blood, the last Uchiha looked broodingly into the golden boy's eyes and left, leaving Naruto the loneliest he'd ever been; waiting in the maddening solitude, hoping someone would come, and hoping someone wouldn't come.

**End of Tenuous Hold:**

**Siege**

The flavors of next chapter:

_Chapter 3: Fight._

_Naruto with an umbrella._

REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE!

_Prizes:_

_1st person to review this chapter gets sneek peek at shonen-ai moment next chapter._

_10th person to review entire story gets sneek peek at latest chapter in the works._

_**REVIEW TO COLLECT YOUR COTTON CANDY AND BUTTERFINGERS!**_


	3. Ch 2 Part 2 of Seij

M-4-M: So, here we are again with another chapter of Tenuous Hold. n.n I'm very happy you guys continue to review this story, it definitely keeps my spirits up... and keeps me writing this. Please stay after to review and read my notes. n.n So, that out of the way, now for distributing butterfingers and cotton candy to those who reviewed! WOOT. -distributes the goodies-

Warnings: Shonen-ai, Shoujo-ai, suggested self-mutilation, angst, depression, strange little italicised phrases.

Disclaimer: I own Naruto! HOLY MOLY! **REALLY?**

oh... yeah, that's a disclaimer... meaning I _**don't**_ own it... If I did it'd be totally different... with unbearable long waits for updates. n.nU

Enjoy.

**Tenuous Hold**

**Chapter Two: Part Two**

**Siege Continues**

_Crashing rain and black skies, covering everything with gray atmosphere._

Shock.

That was the only thing registering in Naruto's mind.

Sasuke stood, leaning over a crouched, stiff Naruto, licking and lapping at a bite on his neck.

Naruto had thought that Saske would deny what happened...

But strangely...sadly... excitingly... here he was again...

_Binding activities given carelessly have power to break... power to destroy what bonds were formed._

Sasuke pressed his mouth against Naruto's ear, hot moisture intimately caressing and driving him crazy. He slowly nibbled and licked long kisses on the outer ridge, making his way down to his neck and jaw, sending hot shivers down Naruto's back, making him arch wantingly as Sasuke nipped the sensitive skin.

Naruto threw himself into Sasuke's lap.

He wasn't so stiff now anymore... well, one part of his anatomy was getting there.

He was pliant and willing in Sasuke's arms...

_All actions hormone and lonely driven._

The pale boy's hands went to the golden boy's scalp, his side and chest to massage... greeting the rapid breathing with pleasure. He thrust his knee to Naruto's groin, making him gasp and almost moan.

Sasuke couldn't withhold and clung to Naruto, sucking on his neck, laving with his tongue, the other leg swung up to Naruto waist.

_They were all just living in moments of sensation. And pretended moments of fake postulation... _

_For one moment don't worry about society, allow wicked inspiration to decree your actions..._

_All just living for those feelings that left them knowing they were alive, until they crashed, and left nothing but a greedy blackness that swallowed up whatever was offered. _

_And the depression that hit when you were alone... for spans of hours just sit on the bed of the lonely house, wondering when it will be over, all to the beat of the saddening music._

Perhaps the once hyper boy should've fought what was happening. Perhaps, maybe when he still had some of himself to hold onto as a raft in the void.

But all that he had left was an empty meaning of what he had been.

.o.

Naruto smiled sardonically as Sasuke let a low, primal growl escape his throat and grabbed at the boy with needy hands.

Sasuke wanted Naruto. Wanted him to be himself, wanted to help fix what was broken, wanted to have Naruto, wanted to stop the growing ache, wanted- wanted...

Sasuke smiled sadly as they rested in each other's arms... a rest from the world... from their growing fears and the weights in their hearts...

_Emotions and actions reversed in the tipsy earth..._

The two struggling people moaned, writhed, ached for touches given...

.o.o.S.o.o.

Sakura stood in front of the flower shop... not knowing quite what to do...

Her emotions seemed dull... almost nonexistent. And this was the contrariness that had her going to the once-time best friend... now something different

.o.

Ino looked outside... at the lost look on her used-to-be best friend's face, unnaturally concerned... She had not been concerned since they were children and it was startling at the length of timeIno had gone without caring if Sakura was hurting so much, now time making up for its absence.

She left the empty shop and brought Sakura back in, driven by a long-forgotten sense of duty.

.o.

Sakura looked almost blindly at her best friend. Yes, her best friend now.

Somehow, with both their actions, they had declared the gap filled.

And then she slumped to the floor with her arms in front of her, a kunai and shiruken in her hands. Crying as Ino slipped down to meet her best friend, knowing that Sakura needed someone to hold her, someone to shield her from everything.

Sakura wasn't quite sure what was going on in the world without her. Something had happened in the universe and when she got home, found kunai and shiruken called to her hands, like a Siren calls men... _pointless death_.

She was scared, wanting to be numb... it all just seemed without reason... And then she found herself at the flower shop where she knew Ino would be working... it had come so close to releasing emotions and the chains of her team's confidentiality just like Naruto had... in a desperatley more drastic way.

_Somewhere on the road of life, sometimes things just deteriorate._

Sakura kissed Ino, wanting everything to end.

Ino kissed Sakura, wanting everything to stop.

.o.

Sakura ran out the door, ran back to her house, and lay listlessly on her bed, wondering.

_Life sucks up the tears... leaving nothing for our comfort._

.o.o.S.o.o.

Sasuke and Naruto lay on the floor inside Naruto's room. Naruto asleep and Sasuke watching... Just watching, trying to fight against the abnormalities life dealt him.. trying to find some reason in the fog enveloping him.

He looked out at the still-gray sky and wondered when the sun would return...

_Never._

.o.

**End of Chapter Two: Part Two**

**Siege Continues**

M-4-M: Meh. Okay, so Ilied... no umbrella. -.-U But I REALLY thought there would be one... and then it all just spiralled out of what I had intended. bleh.

So yeah, this has gotten more serious and dark, which is what I intended in the first place. n.n It actually started out pretty mild I think... not half as angsty as I wanted, which should jar against the reality of what is really going on. You all learn what's _really_ happening in Team 7's lives as the story progresses... and other people's too.

**Notes:** As Kakashi has stated before, look underneath the underneath... which means you should be very interested in why I have the chapter titles I do... and what they could possibly mean. o.O The things in italics (in this chapter) and the stuff that sounds like it's in an objective p.o.v. you should pay attention to... it adds to angst and some of the seemingly surface comments such as Ino wanting it to stop as opposed to Sakura wanting it to **end**... you should think about... like Sakura's scratches from chapter two... Where did she get them from? Why is Sakura thinking about the changed relationship?

Ne, I won't blame you guys if you're all confused and "WTF!" about my deep-spiritual/underneath the underneath babbling... I probably wouldn't understand this myself if I hadn't written it...(although ithappens all too often).

Anywho... I don't know when we will get to Naruto with an umbrella... but we will. n.n... eventually.

**YO! PRIZES:**

_First person to review this chapter gets sasuxnaru... from somewhre you haven't read yet. n.n (in this story... I dunno... you might get a preview of a story I'll be working on...)_

_Tenth reviewer prize is still open! Which is... a clip of whatever chapter I'm working on most recently._

**O-** Review! You get Cupcakes and brownies! n..n


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